Anger Management. Introduction
Anger is one of the basic human emotions. The way people express anger depends on person and culture. Anger and rage are emotions that can be hard to control. An uncontrolled anger outburst is like a grenade, harming people close to us. However, such uncontrolled negative emotions possess a destructive impact on our social and professional lives.
In this article, we will assist you on how to prevent and control outbursts of anger.
Motives Behind Controlling One’s Wrath
According to medical research, anger outbursts can result in an increase in blood pressure, heart rate, and the production of “sticky” platelets. Our system releases these sticky platelets into the bloodstream, where they may cause potentially fatal medical disorders including a heart attack or stroke. Despite popular assumption, the suppression of one’s anger outbursts won’t result in an inner explosion. Instead, our physical and emotional health are harmed by violent outbursts.
Consequences of Anger Outbursts
Another important thing to remember is that the person’s anger outbursts will influence everyone in their immediate surrounding. For instance, coworkers of people with anger issues have poor health outcomes, decreased productivity, and a loss of self-worth at work. Increased absence and eventual quitting are more frequently reported in these people.
Anger-prone spouses report greater rates of anxiety and sadness as well as significantly lower levels of marital contentment. Children who grow up in homes where parents cannot control their emotions feel insecure and neglected. These psychological problems in children are rigid and take a long time to heal. This dysfunctional pattern will persist for generations and become a cycle as long as traumatized people refuse therapy.
Two Manifestations of Anger
Emotional Abuse:
- Rude Language
- Irony
- Negative Comparison to Others
- Threatening (harm and abandonment)
- Belittling
- Insulting Family and Friends
- Being Dishonest
- Putting the blame on the other
- Shaming the other
- Treating people unequal
- Controlling the other
- Being left out of decision-making
Physical Abuse:
- Violence
- Slapping
- Pinching
- Hitting
- Spitting
- Any sort of Physical Disrespect
Controlling One’s Anger is a Sign of Maturity and Power
It is very easy to lose your temper. However, the emotionally mature person knows when to use techniques to identify triggers and control one’s anger. Working towards learning constructive ways to vent our displeasure will have positive consequences as a result. For this reason, controlling one’s anger is a sign of power.
Advice on Managing Your Anger
Knowing Oneself
Spend some time getting to know yourself. What Is It That You Find Offending? What are your thoughts on:
- Disrespect
- Unfair Treatment
- Incompetence
Controlling the Triggers
Develop your ability to control your trigger moments. You can choose to say and do things that are acceptable to safeguard your needs and establish healthy boundaries with others, or you can choose to just avoid them. When you are aware of your triggers, you can choose to notice them without reacting to them. Knowing your vulnerabilities can serve as a strength.
Consider your actions before taking them
Decide to act rather than just react. Once you acknowledge that you are angry, pause to reflect. This enables you to collect your ideas so that you can identify the issue at hand and begin working toward a solution. In most cases, the emotional reaction is not the most effective way of working towards the desired goal. It is best to let the emotion cool off, whereafter logical reasoning can take place again.
Distinction between hostility and assertion
“I feel disrespected when I have to wait an hour for you to come,” could be an example of an assertive statement. “Please notify me if you will be arriving late, since I expect you to be on time” is also an assertive but not aggressive statement.
An aggressive statement is often about blaming and accusing the other and often involves generalizations like “always and never”. This statement will often be received by the opposite party as an attack and will therefore be responded to in a defensive manner. The argument will then be a fight where a mutual understanding is not the goal. This fight will therefore not be resolved in this manner.
Taking a break
Permit both yourself and the other person to “take a time out” in order to de-stress, obtain a better grasp of the situation, and reset for a fresh dialogue and problem-solving session. The famous, count to ten rules when facing an intense emotion, can decrease the intensity of the emotion rapidly.
Recognizing Recurring Patterns of Behaviour
It’s not necessary to continually lose your temper over the same issue. This takes a lot of energy and can harm relationships. Solve problems that can be solved, see them through to completion, and then follow up. Recognize when you are facing an unsolvable issue and attempt to accept it with grace.
Modifying Thought Processes
For instance, if you think your 2-year-old is intentionally challenging you, you might want to think twice. Perhaps the child is simply too little to control his emotions, or he may be hungry, weary, or both. It can help to challenge your thoughts and to try to change your behaviour this way. If you feel yourself getting angry, and then try to put yourself in the other’s shoes, it might increase your understanding of the situation and make you less angry.
Practicing Self-care
Adhere to appropriate self-care practices, which encompass a balanced diet, restful sleep, mindfulness, hobbies, social and spiritual needs, and relaxation. These activities fill your battery and create a buffer for reacting to emotional stimuli. In other words, it is easier to control one’s emotions when all these practices are fulfilled.
Consider Therapy
- If you find it difficult to control your anger, think about speaking with a therapist to address underlying problems and start the healing process.
- To begin the process of learning how to positively interact with a spouse or other important people.
- In case you require knowledge about positive parenting.
- After observing that you take alcohol to help you relax.
” Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts” as Robert Fulghum once said.