Psychodynamic Therapy in Couples in India — *The objective of psychodynamic therapy in couples is helping them recognise the unconscious impulses and conflicts affecting their relationship*

Psychodynamic Therapy in Couples. Introduction

In couple therapy, psychodynamic therapy is the use of psychological insights, theory, and techniques grounded on Freudian psychoanalysis. Couples’ relationships to another always reflect their childhood memories, experiences, and family constellation. Helping couples recognise their unconscious impulses and conflicts is the major objective of psychodynamic treatment. Therefore, the psychodynamic therapist focuses on examining the roles played by projections and transference leading to the conflict.

Positive and Negative Projections

Positive projections in Freudian psychology are those projections of good images we have of ourselves onto other people. Conversely, negative projections are those projections onto others of the unpleasant images and emotions we carry about.

Positive projections attribute to others one’s own good traits, qualities, and strengths. For instance, someone who values achievement, honesty, or diligence may unintentionally show someone else their own aspirations for similar traits. Usually, a “verified” projection comes from the objective truth.

Negative projections entail putting one’s own bad qualities, fears, and shortcomings on other people. One who “suppresses” their undesirable traits by being totally unconscious of them usually projects them. This allows one to project onto someone else strong impulses, “politically incorrect” desires, and other unpleasant imprints.

Projections always have negative consequences resulting in misinterpretation, strife, and a mistaken picture of others. Every marriage begins with good expectations and can end with bad ones. Usually ending in an insurmountable dilemma, a person caught in the grip of negative projections sometimes demonises their partner.

Falling in Love. The Positive Projection

Falling in love with someone involves projecting onto him or her traits or qualities we wish to see in ourselves. This idea implies that first impressions and illusions drive love, thereby guiding it wrongfully. In love, we idealise the other person and view in him or her the fulfilment of our unconscious needs and desires.

Negative Projections. Verifying the Truth

Freud’s psychoanalytical hypothesis claims that projection is a defensive mechanism which helps people shield themselves from their own negative ideas, feelings, and urges. Defence mechanism shields the Ego from person’t negative traces, thoughts and feelings. Projection provides people with a good self-image and enables them to maintain their sense of self-esteem.

Projections are one of the main causes of human conflicts. Demonizing others leads to wars, xenophobia, and conflicts within social groups and alliances.

Transference in Couple Relationships

In couples, the other fundamental idea in psychodynamic treatment is transference. Transference is the process of projecting either positive or negative experiences from one person onto another. Our perception and reaction to our present companion are transposition of past events. In his/her present relationship, a person unintentionally keeps repeating childhood patterns of behaviour.

Marital Conflict. In the “Crossfire” of Projections and Transferences

Projections cause relationships to suffer when people cannot relate to or comprehend each other. In married couples, spouses project their own unconscious content onto one another. Negative forecasts damage relationships and lead people to see their partner as the sole cause of the couple’s difficulties. This lets them stay away from the confrontation with the contents of their own unconscious “lumber room,” which they cannot tolerate. The partners react in ways unrelated to reality after misreading the actions and intentions of their significant other. “Bilateral” projections occurring inside partnerships usually get more aggressive. Often, the only way to avoid arguing and parting is couple counselling.

“Unwinding” Projections and Transferences

Under psychodynamic treatment in couple counselling, the therapist partners with the couple. Through this psychodynamic psychotherapy, people can find and grasp their underlying conflicts and motivations. Understanding the dynamics of the relationship largely by revealing partners’ projections and transferences helps to achieve the main goal of psychodynamic treatment. The “golden road” to clearing misunderstandings and raising the marriage to a higher level is a better knowledge of oneself.

A further fundamental idea in psychodynamic treatment in couples counselling is the need of realize and handle disputes over power and control. We refer to such psychodynamics in the interactions as “collusions.”